Thursday, October 28, 2010

So many thoughts, i don't know how to put stuff in to words...

So I went over to FCA this evening, and on the way I realized how easy most of life is for me. I realize how obnoxiously self-gratifying that is, but hear me out... Almost everything in life I have tried has been easy. Academics are easy. I have a high GPA and it could easily be higher. For the most part, relationships are "easy" as in I usually know what to do or what to say. on and on it goes, there isn't much in life that is difficult for me to accomplish. The one thing that is never easy is my relationship with my heavenly father. I don't think I should EXPECT it to be easy, but I guess I just can't adjust to the idea... I dunno why.

I dunno... I know what I need to do, I've always known... it's just a matter of doing it.
why is it that when i'm such a self-proclaimed metalhead, the most moving music i have is nothing more then a dude with an acoustic guitar and a simple chord pattern?

more later...

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

what defines a man?

so I wrote this a couple of months ago, after watching tv and seeing how poorly husbands (and men in general) are portrayed in popular media. It breaks my heart that people have the idea that it's "normal" for men to be lazy, biased, and intolerant. This poem-thing came out of it, and I've been thinking about it again recently.

I'm not perfect, I don't claim to be.
I let me wounds show when they need to, not when they don't.
I serve a higher calling then my own selfish wants and desires.
I set aside my needs to serve the greater good.
I live to protect. Physically, mentally, AND emotionally.
I do the right thing, even - especially - when it isn't easy.
I obey those above me without question; and, if so blessed, I treat those entrusted to me with respect.
I try to resolve issues without resorting to violence, but I am ready if violence is needed.
When I can't solve an issue, I go to those wiser then I for help.

Monday, May 3, 2010


It's ironic in a way... starting something new as something else fades away. In this case it isn't replacing, as the new is small and the old is very large, but it still seems ironic.
In this case the new is this blog. I am recycling my old football blog as my own personal musings and mutterings, probably with a good sized dash of football mixed in. The old represents school. I am in finals week now, and it is nice to have the light at the end of the tunnel showing so clearly. I have two finals left, and I'm excited to get on with my summer.
I guess the whole world is turning over now. We are a ways into the spring season, with the world changing from grey and white to green and greener. the weather is going from cold and cloudy to thunderstorms and breezes. I guess God enjoys the recycling of times as much as we do. I know that every new season that rolls around renews my mental state of being. I love each one for it's own reasons. the green and warmth of the spring, the time with friends of the summer, the colors of fall (and the football), and the snow in winter.
Well, the new isn't easier to face, I'm going to be working almost full-time (in all probability), along with lots of lifting for football and anything I do with friends. Still, just the change excites me and I can't wait!